Wedding Woes

It all started with my impending ROM in dec 06. I thought a wedding is between 2 persons - the bride and the groom. Hence I planned a simple ROM with no wedding banquet. My mum insisted that there must be a banquet. Fine, we'll do it for her relatives in Malaysia, ie, hold a wedding banquet in Malaysia. U want banquet, I give u banquet. That's it. Now she says, must also have the day tea ceremony where the groom picks the bride fm her place.. I dun need that, and I dun want that hassle! My mum thinks its all very easy - the groom will take care of it. During her time, her father arranged it all for her brothers' weddings, while her own wedding, my father's side took care of it. All the bride has to do, is wake up, makeup , get dressed, look beautiful and the rest will take care of it.
But not in these days. The bride has to do 50% of the planning , coordination etc... Just that my mum doesnt see that part, and she still thinks its very easy.. Puke blood..
my insistence to have things as simple as possible, was not accepted. She threw out reasons like " I am marrying my daughter / you are siding so soon with ur in-laws by helping them save $" .. ok, 1st reason has a moral fillial ring to it.. so now a wedding is not between 2 pple.. a wedding is actually a parent marrying off his daughter and the other receiving a daughter in law.. so that's why the elders want such the day tea ceremony... 2nd reason - again, its outdated. My friends all paid for their weddings without the parents help. If there is any loss, they have to absorb it. And on top of that, the groom has to give the bride's family a specific no of tables so that the angpows will go to the bride's parents. If its money u want, fine! I give u a specific sum straightaway, why bother with the hassle of collecting angpows , having banquet etc.. worse, my future mother-in-law unintentionally offended my father previously and petty him has been badmouthing her , poisoning my mum abt her such that my mum believes it. She thinks that my in-laws who are ok to not having a banquet etc, are doing so becos its to their advantage. But i see it as, they are liberal and they gave us the freedom to choose. Not like my mum who insists things must be done her way. And my mum has this 'poisoned view' that my future MIL is a mean woman etc, who will bully me. But I know its not true (becos i cannot be bullied!) .. so anyway, this wedding tussle is making me very exasperated...